Fr Joseph Ryan, OMA
Making It Personally Yours
Mission Statement
To be of service, in all ways, at all times, in word and action...in all things Christ.
Sacrament of Marriage
Before a candlelit altar, a young groom takes the hand of his bride and vows:
"Today I commit my body and spirit to you. I promise to try always to make our relationship grow through openness in communication; through trust in your willingness to work toward our mutual good; through faith in our love for each other even when that love seems hidden for the moment.
"Today I promise you the freedom to grow and develop your talents and capabilities.
I promise to rejoice in your personal growth and to work out with you any problems this growth entails.
"Today I pledge to join with you in a union that is meant to be fruitful.
I promise to join with you in establishing a household that is open to the needs of others, where we can, so far as we are able, provide a place of warmth and belonging to those who have none."
As this example shows, many Catholic brides and grooms today write their own marriage vows.
The vow presented above covers three important areas for union and growth in the Sacrament of Marriage: mutual commitment, personal freedom and fruitfulness. We will explore these elements further as we probe more deeply into the nature of Christian marriage.
What is Christian Marriage?
Marriage, as a Christian sacrament, is a lifelong and faithful union of a man and a woman mutually committed to sharing their life and love together. Modeled after and strengthened by God's own love for his people, it's an intimate partnership in which each person gives the other freedom to grow and which is directed toward bearing fruit.
Faithfulness to a shared relationship, freedom to develop as a person, fruitfulness through giving themselves to others while these three areas for growth exist throughout marriage, their distribution is frequently uneven.
Balancing the various aspects may be a problem.
A person, occupied with several preschoolers, a seriously sick child, an aged, helpless parent or a teen who is a living challenge on every front, may wonder what ever happened to self-development.
At other times personal development seems to crowd out mutual affection and growth. He becomes president of the Jaycees.
She takes up art classes when the youngest child enters school.
He prepares to run a marathon.
She becomes absorbed in a part-time job. While their lives are full, they have no time for each other.
The demands of a common task, while satisfying, may stretch both partners and lead more to fatigue and irritation than to deepening love.
Marriage is an open-ended commitment. No one knows where faithfulness to another, freedom for self-development and commitment to the outside world will lead.
The one certainty is that both partners will change as time passes.
If they accept challenges in all three areas, they may have arguments, they may grow tired and sometimes be overwhelmed, but they will never be bored with marriage or with each other.
Moreover, they will know that the grace of the sacrament, which is the presence of Christ himself, will remain with them and lead their faithful love to greater and greater fullness.
